Un"fur"ly Treated

Geoffrey;
I am insulted! Such name-calling! The pot calling the kettle black! A few observations....

1. Last time I checked, certain BIRDS (hawks, owls, eagles, falcons, etc.) eat chipmunks, mice, shrews, rabbits, and other birds! The larger ones would probably eat a cat if they could catch one and carry it off. They don't even get acquainted first as cats do; they just strike, piercing their victim with sharp talons. Since you like poetry, I once heard one in blank verse that included the line, "The hawk is the cat of the air." So there!

2. Your humans eat chickens and turkeys, don't they? Those are birds! Yet you still seem to count your humans among your "friends." I recently overheard that the older female and male in your household served duck when they got married. They also eat cows, fish, and pigs. You seem to be able to overlook that!

3. I have never, ever eaten a bird, or a chipmunk, or anything other than my kibble, water, and some very nice canned salmon juice the mother two-legger gave me a week ago.

4. I like to play with the animals around the yard. Unfortunately, I sometimes overwhelm my smaller playmates when the play gets boisterous. An unfortunate accident of that sort occurred just the other day. I was playing tag with a small shrew, and unfortunately I tagged it too hard. I patted the body gently, hoping to rouse it, but it would not move again. The mother two-legger took the body away. It was sad. I shall have to be more careful.

5. I give my two-leggers lots of amusement and keep their feet warm at night.

Indignantly,
Furby